relationships

I've delved into the world of online dating. I'm not exactly excited about online dating but I don't know many other ways to meet people and it's high time I get on the bandwagon. I want a "partner in crime" and a family and it's not happening on it's own.

I've joined eHarmony.com. So far it's going alright. I had tried it for about a minute about a year and a half ago so I didn't have to answer all the personality questions again. I just updated some of the information about myself and added a new photo. I had always thought that I would meet someone spontaneously out with friends, at a show, at the grocery store, just some random meeting. Well since I don't go out very often it's pretty hard to meet someone spontaneously.

There is someone I already know that I'm interested in. I've known him for years but through a friend. We recently met for a beer and it was nice to have someone new to talk too. The conversation seemed good and the evening ended by us agreeing we should do that again. It'd be nice if he'd call me but since he said I should call him, I figure I'll be the one to initiate the next meeting. We're both pretty busy people so hopefully we'll be able to get together again sooner than later.

This is all pretty difficult because I have to keep psyching myself up that I'm worthy. I think I deserve a relationship, I know I'm a good person but it's this external crap I have big issues with. I have boiled down my lack of relationships to the one fact that I'm overweight. I know that's something I have to get over. I can look around and see overweight people in relationships all over the place. I suppose it comes down to my belief that since I can't stand my body, how on earth could anyone else? I'm learning - slowly - to appreciate and love my body. Yoga has been a great help with that, showing me that my body is capable of things I wouldn't have known. Yoga also promotes appreciation and love of your body. I am very thankful to the yoga practice. I'm going three days a week and am fairly certain I'll be participating in a yoga retreat out of town for a weekend in October. The thought of yoga on a deck outside overlooking a lake sounds so peaceful, I can hardly wait.